I want to say I am back after a long hiatus, but I don't know if I am... This is an interesting predicament I am going to share with everyone out there...
The boyfriend I referenced so many times in my blog and I broke up two years ago. We had been together for a long time, so the change in my life was drastic. Basically, I've been grieving since... Ridiculous, I know...
One of the strange side effects of this life change is that I cannot make miniatures. This hobby has always been mine. I've loved little things since I was a toddler. I've been making miniatures since I was a kid. He and I were both makers, so he would make things and I would help. I would make things, and he would help. Many, many times I would want to make something, but couldn't figure out how to get the precise result I was looking for, and he would have a solution or help me make a jig or do a test... Maybe this connected him too much to my hobby and I can't separate it now...? I really don't know. Another theory is that I'm punishing myself somehow by not allowing myself to do something I love. I don't know why this has happened, but this is my situation now.
I still love miniatures. I actually live in a one-bedroom apartment now. I sleep in the living room and have made the bedroom my studio. I have not used it for two years. I have lots of supplies, a couple of unfinished dollhouses, and a beautiful display case full of the treasures I've collected and made for over 30 years. I pin miniatures constantly on Pinterest. I've even bought miniatures and supplies over the past two years, but I can't seem to get over this block. I do a lot of standing and looking at my miniatures or my stock of supplies... You'd think I could just force myself...just sit down and make a damn flower...but I can't.
I hope this block goes away some time. I am optimistic that it will, but for now, I am stuck in the same place. If any of you out there have dealt with something similar or have some ideas, please share. I'm looking for answers. I am looking for solutions. I am looking for a making buddie. Any help you amazing people out there can provide would be greatly appreciated.
I hope this wasn't too much of a downer...
L.
